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Mature Content Filter is On. The Artist has chosen to restrict viewing to deviants 18 and older.
(Contains: strong language)
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Fri Feb 13 16 49 49 2015

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

TRIP
Get off my back!  I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine...

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Adam!!

TRIP
Hey!   God  it's been so long since we've seen you!    How are you doing, man? -- (interrupted)

ADAM
NIGGAAAAAAAA

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well come on in...

(ADAM hugs trip.)

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

ADAM
WANNA SHOOT UP A TURF?

GRACE
Adam,

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  I'm so happy to see you after so long!

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, how are you doing?

GRACE
Uh, I just asked him that...

TRIP
I can ask too!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh) -- (interrupted)

ADAM
HOW YOU NIGGAS DOIN

GRACE
Oh we're good, we're good... um... Yes!

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home!

TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door.  

GRACE
So,    Adam,  I'm hoping you can help -- (interrupted)

(Trip closes the front door.)

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --

GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.

ADAM
WHERES THE HENNESY

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
What?  Wait, wait, let's just wait for the answering machine...

(ADAM sits on the couch.)

PHONE
** RING **

PHONE
** RING **

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip.  Leave us a message!

ADAM
WHERES MY FUCKIN DOMINOES

GRACE
Oh, well, hold on...  (clears throat)

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

TRIP
Well, Grace's parents... They're something else, really classy people --

ANSWERING MACHINE
Grace, this is your father, I thought I'd call to see how my lovely daughter is doing.

GRACE
Uhh, no, they're impossible, they're always expecting me to act like the dutiful daughter, it's so annoying.

ANSWERING MACHINE
I want you and Trip to come up to the house this weekend, your mother and I are throwing a party for a senior VP at the firm, and you should be there.

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

ANSWERING MACHINE
Oh, and be sure to arrive early, I want to talk to you about this business about why you won't be attending your mother's Christmas Eve gala.

ANSWERING MACHINE
(clear throat) So, that's all.  Uh, goodbye.

ADAM
THEY SOUND CAUCASIAN

GRACE
So,    Adam,  I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.   -- (interrupted)

ADAM
LOLNO

GRACE
Oh, um, well... I want to ask you...

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, for this corner of the room I had a desire for something... big... and bold...

TRIP
Yeah, this is a huge couch...

ADAM
ITS ON FLEEK

TRIP
Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate...

GRACE
Ha ha, I guess it's just the artist in me dying to get out.

ADAM
WANNA HAVE WATERMELONS

TRIP
See Grace, no one is complaining about your decorating, there's nothing wrong with it!

(ADAM gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Trip, I can't explain it, but this room is just not working, okay?  I'm going to return what furniture I can, and redo it all.

TRIP
Oh Grace...

TRIP
(little sigh) Somehow I knew you'd say that.

GRACE
Adam,  seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have.

(ADAM picks up the red wine bottle.)

(ADAM puts down the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
What... -- (interrupted)

(ADAM picks up the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fix us some drinks in a sec!

TRIP
Oh and I've got these fancy new cocktail shakers I'm itching to try out.

TRIP
Hey, I just realized something.

ADAM
NIGGA THIS AINT HENNESY

TRIP
We have to celebrate! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Yeah, hang on, ooh, I'm going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute!

(ADAM puts down the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
Uhh,    Adam,  try not to encourage him.

TRIP
So, yeah, I just realized!

TRIP
Adam,  remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.  -- (interrupted)

ADAM
NAH NIGGA I WANT DAT DRANK

TRIP
N -- no, remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight?

ADAM
YUH

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

TRIP
So! Drinks!

TRIP
So, what's your poison?

TRIP
How about something fun,

TRIP
like sangria?

TRIP
Everybody tells me I fix the best drinks, so I'm sure -- (interrupted)

ADAM
HENNESY

TRIP
Uh, well, I'm just going to make us all some nice sangria.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Adam,  maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
Oh come on...

ADAM
MAKE ME DAT PURP DRANK

TRIP
Okay look I'm just going to open a bottle of merlot and make everybody happy.  

ADAM
MELONS

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
uh...!

(ADAM comforts trip.)

(ADAM hugs trip.)

TRIP
geez, I'm not, uh...

GRACE
wha...!

TRIP
wha...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha...

TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh,   Adam,

GRACE
heh heh heh...

TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
You're not afraid to say anything, are you?

TRIP
put us on the spot...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, you know that?

TRIP
ha ha...

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Anyway... what were we talking about, heh?

GRACE
(big sigh)

GRACE
Oh God,    Adam,  I hope you didn't come here tonight to be entertained...

TRIP
What?

GRACE
Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend.

ADAM
CHILL

TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
What?  No no, everything's fine, we're fine...

ADAM
TAKE A PUFF OF DA BONG

TRIP
What...?

TRIP
Huh, I think I forgot how well you two get along...

TRIP
Adam,  I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy...

GRACE
(impatient sigh) Trip, maybe our friend would prefer --

TRIP
Grace, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean our friend won't...

ADAM
NOT AS FINE AS COMPTON

TRIP
Y -- y - yeah uh, uh, come take a look!

ADAM
REMEMBER DA OLD DAYS

TRIP
N -- no, no, heh -- w -- wait...

TRIP
Now, now,    Adam,  in one word, what does this picture make you think of?

GRACE
Oh, please, Trip, don't put our friend on the spot like that.

ADAM
WHEN WE SHOT JAQUAN

TRIP
Just -- just -- just try to think of one word...

GRACE
How about oppressive.

TRIP
Christ! I take her to Italy to see the art she supposedly likes, and she calls me oppressive. -- (interrupted)

GRACE
(short petulant sigh) -- (interrupted)

ADAM
HE WAS A BITCH ASS NIGGA

TRIP
Romance!  It says... romance...!

GRACE
(little sigh)   Adam,  I liked your answer better.

TRIP
Dammit, Grace, I was trying to give us a romantic weekend in Europe together! -- (interrupted)

ADAM
MORE LIKE HIGH AF

TRIP
Y - yeah -- uh, no, uh -- it was supposed to be romantic!

GRACE
And I missed my friend's art show.

TRIP
What?  Who is this?

GRACE
A friend from college had a gallery show of his new paintings that weekend.  (little sigh)

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

TRIP
Your... goddamn decorating...

TRIP
You're never satisfied with anything!  You're never happy, never ever satisfied with -- (interrupted)

ADAM
FUCKA PLEASE

TRIP
Huh?  What, what -- what was that?

GRACE
(impatient sigh)     Adam,  I...

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you...

TRIP
I know what you'll say...

TRIP
You keep cussing, it's not what I need to hear, you know?

GRACE
What do my parents have to --

GRACE
God, people trying to criticize me, tell me what to do, suppress me... it keeps happening!

TRIP
Oh, Christ...!

GRACE
Romance... goddamn...

GRACE
Adam,

GRACE
Are you trying to say we've got problems?  Or I've got problems, that this is all my fault from the start?  Is that what you think?

TRIP
Oh, come on...!

GRACE
Alright, you know what,     Adam,

GRACE
I'm going to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

GRACE
Adam,  yes or no...

GRACE
If there was a thing about yourself you didn't like, but your husband or wife likes it, is it still okay to hide it?

TRIP
What?

GRACE
I mean, if your spouse _likes_ something about you, that you don't like, are you allowed to hide that?

GRACE
Yes or no. -- (interrupted)

ADAM
YEH

GRACE
What...?!

ADAM
YES

GRACE
Oh, alright... yes...

GRACE
Trip, I can't take this denial anymore...  You're suppressing yourself, you're so... fake!  I hate it!

TRIP
Oh, god...!

TRIP
Yeah, go on, get out of my face!

TRIP
I can't even frigging look at you.

TRIP
Oh...  Shit!

ADAM
NIGGA

TRIP
uhh! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
What?  uhh... w -- what are you saying?

GRACE
What, Trip?  Are you trying to talk to me?

TRIP
What's it to you?

TRIP
Adam,  this has never ever happened before...!

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
Look, you -- you probably want to get out of here...

TRIP
Oh, Jesus... Christ...

GRACE
What? If you're talking to me, I can't hear you!

TRIP
I'm not!

GRACE
Adam,  (annoyed sigh) Trip can just be so...

TRIP
Oh, we're talking about me, are we?

GRACE
What?

GRACE
Adam,  it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --

TRIP
Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --

GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not --

TRIP
Stop it, stop it!     (annoyed sigh)

(ADAM comforts grace.)

GRACE
Oh,   Adam,  look, I know you're trying to help, but right now we just need get this all out in the open...

TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us.

GRACE
Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...!

TRIP
What, I'm not allowed to be angry?

GRACE
You tell me what to do, you don't listen.

TRIP
Adam,  I'm not telling her what to do, I'm trying to help her!

ADAM
WELL FUCK THE BOTH OF YOU

TRIP
Okay,    Adam,  I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

ADAM
BYE

(Trip opens the front door.)

ADAM
MELONS MOTHERFUCKR

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

ADAM
FUCK YOU THEN
Adam's Hoodrat Evening with Trip and Grace
It's a stageplay of the popular game Facade that I did while listening to Good Kid m.A.A.d. City. I honestly think it's the best.
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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: strong language)
One day, MC Ride was talking through Sacramento when he saw a LIL BOY. He asked him, "Are you LOST, BOY?" He said yes. He told him he came from STOCKTON, being a notorious HACKER. He was considered LORD OF THE GAME. Then he told Ride to hide from the cops or he'd GET GOT. He did and when he emerged, he heard a loud POP. The boy was actually born on a FULL MOON, therefore invincible. He then got out a shotgun and shouted "BEWARE!" He shot all of them and yelled "COME UP AND GET ME!" He led Ride into a van where he saw Andy and Zach. "What are you doing here?", Ride asked. Andy replied, "The kid had something UP HIS SLEEVES. He gave me some pills and said 'This shit'll make you FEEL LIKE A WHEEL.' I popped some and was suddenly in the BIG HOUSE. He got me out, thankfully." Ride then turned to Zach and he replied, "I was attacked by some BIRDS." Ride then said "Wow." He turned to the boy, who pulled off a mask to reveal a grey alien face. He then lifted some controls and suddenly the van was in space. "I'VE SEEN FOOTAGE of you guys and thought you would bring peace to our planet." The van/ship landed. He led them out and said "Welcome to the WORLD OF DOGS. It's a place of NO LOVE, though." Ride then gasped and said "I've seen this place on the DEEP WEB!" The alien boy said "Indeed. The cause of all this anarchy was an ARTIFICIAL DEATH IN THE WEST." Andy then asked "EAST?" They walked through and saw a Stargate-looking thing. Ride asked what it was. The alien then said "It's a portal that connects this earth of 4D to 5D. To do so, YOU NEED TO VIBRATE HIGHER." Ride then said he was facing a CULTURE SHOCK. He then noticed everything was fading away all of a sudden. He woke up with a gasp and Andy turned to him and asked, "Are you okay? You look noided." Ride finally came to his senses and said, "I guess I HAD A SAD CUM."
Glitched Govt Plates Wallpaper by poop87
Glitched Govt Plates Wallpaper
IT'S SO FUCKIN DARK IN HERE
COME COME FUCK APART IN HERE AAA
I DIE IN THE PROCESS
YOU DIE IN THE PROCESS
KETTLE DRUM ROLL HARD SHIT
FUCK I SAID FUCKA DON'T START SHIT
COME COME FUCK APART IN HERE AAA
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I just spent 60 bucks on Payday 2, CoD Black Ops 2 which comes with World at War, Sleeping Dogs Definitive Edition and the Mass Effect collection. Fuck yes.
  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: Niggas on the Moon
  • Reading: Vernon God Little
  • Watching: Crank
  • Playing: Mass Effect
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing

deviantID

poop87
Joao Cambronero
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
I have absolutely no fucks to give about insults. There I said it

Favourite genre of music: Heavy Metal, Classic Rock, Electronic, IDM, ambient, art rock, drum n bass
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Favourite cartoon character: Finn the human
Personal Quote: I AM A BANANA
I got aspergers. Got a problem with that, fucker?
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I just spent 60 bucks on Payday 2, CoD Black Ops 2 which comes with World at War, Sleeping Dogs Definitive Edition and the Mass Effect collection. Fuck yes.
  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: Niggas on the Moon
  • Reading: Vernon God Little
  • Watching: Crank
  • Playing: Mass Effect
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing

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:iconamethystdreamernat:
amethystdreamernat Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  New member
thanks for the fave!^^
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:iconblackbatfan:
BlackBatFan Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015
Thanks for the Favo.
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:iconmzimmer1985:
MZimmer1985 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015
Thank you for fav'ing my alternate live-action Ada Wong casting choice! Would you please leave a comment on it regarding what you think as well?

And add me to your watch list to see who I'll cast next.
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:iconsafaristeve29:
Safaristeve29 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015
Thanks for the fave! 
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:iconpoop87:
poop87 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Professional General Artist
You're welcome! :3
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:iconmpregfan:
mpregfan Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2015
Thanks for the watch and faves. :)
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:iconefdg:
efdg Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015
Thanks for the fav
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:iconsoldier1166:
Soldier1166 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2015
Thanks for fav, mate!
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:iconwoodspider:
WoodSpider Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015  Student General Artist
thnks for the mammal
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:iconmzimmer1985:
MZimmer1985 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015
Thank you for fav'ing my alternate live-action Jill Valentine casting choice! Would you please leave a comment on it as well?
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:iconanomalousantarctican:
AnomalousAntarctican Featured By Owner Edited Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I finally started working on your long overdue blueberry sequence thing (you know with shaundi and fem!boss?) a bit over break, I finished part 2 and revamped it along with part 3 to be more updated to my current artistic skill/style, my initial attempt at part 4 is just going to be started over because it's completely unsalvageable, and part 1 (where they're normal) has never been drawn yet.

I'm really sorry it's well over a year in development, mostly due to my crappy schedule and me putting off due to difficulties with it, but unfortunately I just really can't finish it until summer. With that said would you rather me color part 2 or 3 or draw a new part that hasn't been done yet first?
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:iconpoop87:
poop87 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Professional General Artist
What ideas do you have for the new part?
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:iconanomalousantarctican:
AnomalousAntarctican Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
part 1 is where their normal, part 2 is they have round torsos but still have limbs, part 3 they're fully round but still human sized (like 1973 violet), part 4 is when they're like fully inflated 2005 violet 
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:iconpoop87:
poop87 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Professional General Artist
Go ahead, sounds great
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:iconpieohpah69:
Pieohpah69 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015
Thanks for the :+fav:
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:iconsafaristeve29:
Safaristeve29 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2014
Thanks for the fave! 
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:iconpoop87:
poop87 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2014  Professional General Artist
You're welcome! :3
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:icontheyuantwins:
TheYuanTwins Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fave!
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:iconpoop87:
poop87 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Professional General Artist
You're welcome :3
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:iconlordbunkstin:
LordBunkstin Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave!
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:iconpoop87:
poop87 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Professional General Artist
You're welcome! :3
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:iconcybermage303:
cybermage303 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2014
Hey, apologies for missing your birthday. IRL stuff came up.

Hope you had a wonderful day! :)
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:iconpoop87:
poop87 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2014  Professional General Artist
It's okay c:
I had a great day! :3
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:iconcybermage303:
cybermage303 Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014
Good to hear!
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:iconretroneb:
RetroNeb Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
haaaappyyyy birthdaaaayyy :) :cake:
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